If you’re not familiar with Steven Wright, he’s the most deadpan comedian you could imagine. His delivery practically redefines “droll.” All of which gives his thought-provoking musings a surprising punch. Here, a few of his best.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

I once tried to microwave instant coffee, and went back in time.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ok, so what’s the speed of dark?

24 hours in a day… 24 beers in a case… coincidence?

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.