For years, Mike Harden of Ohio’s Columbus Dispatch collected the “Worst Country Music Song Titles, Until The Next Time.” The tradition was upset when he passed in 2010. Herewith a sampling from the 1998 edition. Just a reminder, these are actual song titles. And they’re coming out every year.

Wake Up & Smell The Whiskey

Never Underestimate A Bored Housewife

Tonight, The Heartache’s On Me

Was There A Girl On Your Boy’s Night Out?

I’m Living Up To Her Low Expectations

You’re As Young As The Woman You Feed

Crank My Tractor

Has Your Lawyer Talked to Jesus?

If I Lay Down The Bottle, Would You Lay Back Down With Me?

Let’s Do Something Cheap & Superficial

You Make My Heart Want A Dip Of Snuff

Your Alibi Called Today

The Pint Of No Return

I’d’ve Wrote A Letter But I Couldn’t Spell YUCK

Honky Tonk Amnesia

You’re The Reason God Made Oklahoma